Fishermen Say the Darndest Things!
October 7, 2004
Remember that show Bill Cosby used to have called “Kids say the darndest things” If you’ll recall, ol’ Bill used to just ask kids a bunch of questions…and what the little rug rats had to say was always entertaining. Well, if there are any TV execs out there right now, I propose to you a new variation on that same basic theme — only instead of kids, I want to use fishermen. Being out on the river every day, I hear some fisher folk say some pretty funny stuff.
Once on the American River, I watched an old guy named “Axe Handle” (I’m sure there was a story there but was afraid to ask) fight a large salmon from shore. Anyway, Axe (Mr. Handle?) battled the thing for a good 45 minutes and began to lose ground. As his reel started to get dangerously low on line, Axe’s buddy, who had been standing by with the net throughout the struggle, offered up a little nugget of wisdom:
”Axe, my friend,” he said. “To me, this situation looks encourageable — maybe you ought to just cut the line.”
I assume Handle’s pal meant to say that the situation was hopeless — or incorrigible.
Another time, I was approached by a boater who had seen me catching a bunch of kings out of a particular run on the Feather River. He pulled up next to me and asked what I was doing.
”I’ve been backtrolling with sardine-wrapped Kwikfish,” I explained.
With a puzzled look he looked back at me and asked: “What does that entrail?”
Umm…
And speaking of Kwikfish plugs, I’ve heard them called a million different names over the years…my favorites being “Kiwi Fish” and “Key Fish.” Of course, I hear lots of tackle names butchered. G-Loomis rods are often referred to as “Gloomis,” and one guy told me he had once caught a bunch of trout on a “Castbastard” lure (uh, bud, I think you were probably using a “Kastmaster”). I’ve heard Pautzke’s Salmon Eggs called POW-ZEE-NO’s, Pilwuakee’s and Pookies and I once had a dude look down at the reel I was using (a Shimano) and asked how I liked my Shamoo. I cracked a little something about how I was absolutely smitten with my pet killer whale and I really appreciated him asking. The guy just kinda looked at me like I was speaking the language of extraterrestrials and walked away.
Another fun one was when I heard neoprene waders referred to as “Neo-Supremes.” Isn’t that a cool name? Nobody actually makes a Neo-Supreme wader, but they should! Then there was the time I saw one of the locals on the river floating by. Just to make some small talk, I told him I heard that his fishing buddy had gone to Cancun the previous week.
“No,” he replied. “He went to Mexico…”
Comments
Got something to say?